I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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