Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize