I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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