More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
There's always time for handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize