garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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