I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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