the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I AM VODKA MAN
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Randomize