In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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