We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
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Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
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all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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