Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize