it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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