how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cock deserves a montage
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize