She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
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This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
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He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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