it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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