my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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