so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
