I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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