im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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