Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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