Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
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Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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