i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize