addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Randomize