You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
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The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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