So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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