Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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