Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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