What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
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I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
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High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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