just come out here and I will go home with you...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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