my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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