Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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