just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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