My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize