I'm pants shitting drunk right now
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize