I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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