so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Randomize