she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
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Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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