I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize