Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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