You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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