wanna go halves on a baby?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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