well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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