Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize