Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
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