Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
you made out with another girl for some wings
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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