The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
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if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
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I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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