If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize