She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
