he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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