Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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