this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
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I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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